a bird in the spring grass

sometimes i teach myself strange lessons. spent last night fighting and crying for no apparent reason, and finally gave up and went to bed. after all the struggle, it was so easy to let it go. like i was done. the sensations flowed. i am learning how not to have regrets. instead, i will take life by the experiences, each as they come. i am not going to let anger control me, because anger is not productive, and life is a busy place. so i guess the only thing that i regret is anger, but i'm learning to let than anger melt into something a bit more manageable... even if that manageable thing happens to be sorrow.

i had a strange dream last night. i was at a party full of strange people, the walking dead. they were all naked, and had wounds in specific areas of their bodies, namely across their throats and down their spines. they were able to bend reality, and to move throughout dimensions. they wanted me to join them, but i was afraid because in order to be like them , i would have to let someone drag a knife across the bare flesh of my body like thiers. i was to scared of the cut, even though i knew what it would bring.

there are so many things in life to see, and much more to learn.

love on mondays, bleed on tuesdays

mornings after sleeping in unmade beds
surreal feeling
heart exploding in chest
and searing pain of anticipation.

(my own mind is making me its prisoner.)

what am i accomplishing?
volumes of thought
transcribed in the pages of my mind.

(i have no concept of time)

surely, there must be a coming together of sorts